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I let him…and explained how unimpressed I was… cause I was. Anyone know how to do so? Safely that is. I am recently going through a divorce. I am lonely needing someone to talk with and do things with. My name is Sandra. Hi Sandy, Helen here, been witth my man since With someone now but to be honest its only for company i adore my husband but he has found someone else and is happy. The man who loved me for 33 odd years gone!!! I will never get over it i love him with all my heart sometmes i have to pretend he is dead because my heart cannot believe he left me.
Now living with elderly parents. I never thought we Would be Apart from being age I am Alphonso.. I live in nyc. Been alone for most of my life and closeness is rare. Adria Klinger November 15, at am. Andrew Dowling November 15, at pm. Thanks Adria! Yvonne D. Matthews March 4, at am. J May 25, at pm. Andrew Dowling May 30, at pm. Hi J, I just got back from our big global get-together in Monterey just over a week ago, and we had attendees from all over rural US.
Regards, Andrew. Goldye March 25, at pm. How do I join? Single mom of a 20 yo. Ann Kasley September 1, at pm. Andrew Dowling September 4, at pm. Regards, Andrew Stitch Community Founder. Starhawkh unt October 30, at am. Sandy Kirkpatrick November 3, at pm. I thought I was the only one That God has forgotten about! Bad Things have always happen in my life! I will be glad when my life is over!
Thank you for writing this and NOT pretending that everything is cheeky and wonderful. After all, isnt that kind of fakeness what keeps many out of the Church? Im My husband left me and according to stae marriage laws, it takea two to marry but one to divorce you and I have no legal right to stay married. What a crock. It has devastated my, destoryed my life.
I have no Biblical right to ever remarry and have no children so I know my cross is to bear these things. I pray everyday my husband will come home and for his salvation. Its so messed up. I struggle every single day and cannot tell you how horribly dreams and lives are broken through divorce. Singlehood sucks. I so needed this thank you for your comments. I have also started to feel very disheartened…. It hurts, it is hard!
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I just know they feel my sadness sometimes and I wish they didnt! First of all, i like your writing style. And i just read that beautiful, heartfelt story…i am like you. But i am just younger, And i never remember my being beautiful. But he was too for me. Anyway i am sorry i have no self respect or self esteem or etc.. What would you do? For example when i have my hair cut, i cannot look at the mirror.
Maybe i should commit suicide.. Sucks so bad. Thank you so much for posting this. I had a relationship my senior year in high school and that was it. Am 36 now. Years of viewing myself as abnormal not because of the dating stuff maybe attracted some very unhealthy people around me, but they always took off pretty fast too. I am trying to love myself more, but it is difficult when no one is interested…hence, repeat vicious cycle. Not saying our problems are the same, but just needed to vent honestly.
I feel like your writing my life story. Every word is perfect. My life ugh!! I think the worst part of singleness is that constant cloud of sadness hanging over your head. It has to do with a jumble of thoughts that have been rolling around in my head. God wants us to take action. Stop waiting for the right guy to just show up at church, the coffeeshop, etc. Nope, I have to make an effort to meet people. Same goes for datinvg someone. What am I doing to hinder my relationships? Let Him lovingly discipline and correct me through conviction from the Holy Spirit.
Is there something I need to do? Joyce Meyer tells of a woman whose life was at a standstill. She stubbornly brushed it off, but finally, she realized it was the Holy Spirit speaking to her and she forgave her sister. I plan to stop and really listen to God about what I need to do in order to move forward.
God means for us to have joy in all stages of life. We need balance! God is good all the time, and all the time God is good. I was so close to being engaged earlier this year. We picked the ring, he put a deposit on it. I was crushed. I wanted a husband a little baby — my own little family. It was ripped from me in an instant.
Especially since all my friends are part of a couple. It just hurts. So badly. What a great article!! Why are they so lucky and when is my turn coming? No guy ever approaches me, I laugh, I smile, I am friendly and honest and nope all the compliments come from women. Anyway, thank you for letting me vent. I feel you, Mandy. When in actual fact, I feel lonely, depressed and hopeless. The thought that I still have not given myself to a man means I am truly ugly and a loser and a piece of dirt. God is cruel how can he love me if he made me ugly and unwanted.
He wants me all to himself or he is the only one that loves me what a complete jerk he is. I hate this I hate this so much. I feel like screaming! My one true love dumps me. So what is wrong with me? I am a CBT therapist yet struggle to even practice what I preech. I thought I had found someone, someone who would be a great partner in life. He has is own fears and let those fears take over the relationship.
I fear that I will be alone forever. I live in a small town in a rural part of Idaho. I like where I live however, I fear that by staying here I will be lessening my chances of finding someone because its so small and the man-child capital of the state. I fear being left again, I fear being left and I fear I will continue down this road of dating misery, forever! I creating my single life destiny, a self fulfilled prophecy? I am single 36 yr old woman. I am extremely shy and introvert. I am scared and overthink everything. I thought i was pretty but now i understand i am not.
I am obese, very short, with thinning hair, pot belly, an overbite , bulbous protruding squinty eyes and a teeth gap. My father and brother r alcholics and i have lived watching them fight and abuse my mom and sis in law. I am over qualified. I have a postgraduate degree and dictorate and a high level job. I believe i dont deserve to be on top. These r a few of the reasons why i am single. I feel sad and hurt and ashamed when i see my neice and nephews getting married and having kids. My life sucks. I came across this article and said…wow! I ask myself every day or so, why did God leave me alone?
I am so angry sometimes I could scream!!! I read somewhere that serial killer Charles Manson married while he had been incarcerated, yet there seems to be no one in the free sane world for me? There is light at the bottomless pit of singleness for me. For those singles who want a family, take a deep breath and let it go, along with the burden of being single. Create your own story that does not end with you dying alone. Thank you Thank you Thank you!!! I get so tired of the have faith phrase. I have faith. I have even tried dating sites. Trying to figure out what have I done so bad that has cost me ever having the love of my life…even down to questioning does GOD really love me?
I mean the Strongest desire I have right now is to be married. I am praying for GOD to take that desire away. I wanna be free from it if it is not his plan for my life. The hardest part, for me, is not being single. I can actually appreciate certain moments of my singleness now. Like the weight I no longer feel waiting on some guy to call or show up or make me feel worthy. And those days of playing detective, only to uncover the ugly truths I never really wanted to face, are gone.
THAT is the hardest part about being single for me. To have had love. A great love. An unconditional, honest, pure, and beautiful love. And to have been too young and stupid to have appreciated it. They say if you have chemistry you only need one other thing: Timing.
But timing is a bitch. So here I am, single. Not at all how imagined my life would be at I imagine I could have been happily married with a kid or two by now. Instead, I chose to walk away from the love of life. I guess I thought I could do better. I was only 19 when we met and 27 by the time I ended things. I thought I might have been missing out on other options. I wanted to know what else was out there. That was my biggest mistake and if I could go back in time and take it all back I would.
In a single heartbeat. Enough to know that my soulmate is the one man I left behind at And now he is with someone else and I put him there. Is it really better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? If you ask me, no way. What they failed to mentioned was that your heart will break every day, over and over again, searching for the love it once felt only to come back empty every time. Mandy, you spoke not only your heart, but the heart of myself and pretty much every other single woman.
Your fears are my fears. As much I love your positivity and encouragement, which has uplifted and kept me going many days, I adore your vulnerability in also sharing the ugly truth. Positivity can bring us together, but it is the bare common ground that binds us and reminds us we are not alone. Being single is scary and when I see a happy couple i feel like crying.
Am so scared that il die single. At 38 I have never experienced true love. Surprisingly after being disappointed the whole of my life, I still believe in love. What is wrong with me? Im the one stood waiting for her friends only to find out they have left with the guy i was bypassed by. I can completely relate. Single still at almost Left my abusive husband back in and wound up dating the same kind of jerk until when I realized I deserved better and decided to take a break. I am horrible on myself.
Thank you for posting this Mandy…. I divorced my husband after 20 years of him struggling with sexual desires and then being physically abusive to our son. You are such an inspiration in this interesting, crazy, sometimes lonely, but still forging ahead journey called the single life.
Nashville is on my bucket list of places to visit and when I get there I would love to meet you! Thank you for your post. I relate a lot to what you said — pretty much everything you said. I was writing a blog entry the other day about a funeral I attended for a family member and I was thinking about how that side of my family was dwindling pretty fast.
Then I was thinking about how my own side of my family pretty much ends with me. I have a sister, but I feel like that is their own part of the family that they get to carry on. I will be carrying on nothing. I feel pretty sad about it. I just want to be me, with my strong faith and my huge sci-fi geek side. I want to be the grad student and the one who enjoys a young adult novel.
The one who uses Facebook to keep up with friends but to also play social games. You make me wanna cry and hug you. This is me as well. The kid thing is getting to me more and more everyday. Being 32 and single has been very hard. Harder than I expected are willing to normally admit. I see no flaws in anything you mentioned, rather perfection.
I am almost 39 and 21 months ago I decided, after years of thought and prayer, to take matters into my own hands and had an appointment at a fertility clinic. It may always just be the two of us, but he is the greatest loves story of my life. Someday I may be a wife but, if not, thank god a precious little boy calls me mommy. This was God sent. This journey have many ugly heads. I know I wont end up alone, But being single and 35 is not a game. I just want to hug you. I know how hard it probably was to write this, because that fear of judgement is REAL.
I wrote a similar entry on my blog about a month ago and I was terrified to press submit. But I did, because someone needed what I wrote. Today, I needed what you wrote. I love how God works things out! Anyway, thank you for your honesty. But you know that the men are not perfect either!! Marriage is 2 imperfect people focusing on the good in each other more than the bad.
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It really resonated with me. The good. The bad. Thank you for reminding to embrace these moments. You continue to be an inspiration, Mandy! Thank you Mandy for sharing! I can relate to each and every word! All we can do is simply live this single life to the fullest. Wow, I can totally relate to everything you said. Reality is hitting home and I deal. This hit home. I too am mid thirties and single and can so relate.
Sometimes we can even become obsessed with the single status. But I try to live this time to my fullest as a writer blogger and traveler. We aRe here for a reason. Very excellent and very honest blog, Mandy! I feel the same feelings you feel about being single. Keep your head up and keep encouraging other single women in their walk with the Lord. Thank you for being so brave.
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Thank you for your vulnerability. Thank you for writing this post and tackling this question. God bless! You seem to be writing everything that I am currently feeling. It gets very hard at times, but I usually try to stay optimistic. My previous bad choices in men have made me question myself, and I also had a man to basically tell me something similar to what you were told. That was years ago but I realize now that it really effected me.
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I needed this!!! I really have a huge issue with being 26 and a single mom….. My ex telling me if I was just this or that we would work…. Kayla, you are enough for YOU and your son. What your ex is looking for is someone to fill the voids in his own life. No one can do that but him, so let him do that work himself. Thanks for writing this article Mandy, I try to stay positive and keep busy. But in those moments when I am alone in my bed I have those same thoughts.
I am ugly, too fat, too nice and no one will ever want to be married with me. I throw myself a pity party, cry myself to sleep. Its not easy being alone or single, but I would much rather be single than in a miserable relationship. This made me cry. Every day I think I am doomed to wander this earth by myself. Just last night I was boo hooing because my kids were gone and I was all by myself at home washing clothes. Thank you for your honesty. I feel that I am a very loving, compassionate, caring woman that I feel is pretty nice looking wondering why God would make me this way and not give me someone to share my life with.
You too are very beautiful, thoughtful and just wonderful.
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Thank you for your message. I love this post. And LOL, I am still single at Married for 23 years…miserably…and slowly getting to where I want to be. The truth is, we all have those doubts. We all want to be what we see presented in magazines and movies. And we are all flawed. As are many of the men out there. I want a partner…an equal…So I keep on living my amazing, wonderful life and maybe some day, in my travels, I will meet someone interesting enough, secure enough, funny enough and smart enough to make ME take a double look.
All very true! Such B. So, carrying on and being me! I needed this. I feel like these were the words right out of my own head! You rock Mandy. I never expected to be here at this stage in life as a still-single woman! This is exactly how I feel. Waited 5 years after second divorce to date, to get myself together, to learn to forgive and trust. Dated and then got into another bad relationship. Another man I was going to help to love me. I can definitely relate to this. Mandy — Single at 36, and can completely relate to everything in your post. It scares me sometimes thinking about what will happen when I get old — who will take care of me and love me… I put up a brave face and try to enjoy the good sides of it, like travelling or taking up jobs far away from home.
But deep inside yes I do feel the void. Have you sneaked inside my brain. Your words read like everything I think I agree with Jenn. Spent most of my 20s being silly and praying my period would arrive. I am 37 single with no kids with a raft of what if and if only. But until then. I will keep reading your blog realising. None of us in this boat are alone xxx. This is so timely. I am older than you and my husband left after 10 years of marriage. I may just remain single which may not be a bad thing. This article has hit the nail on the head. No more self hate talk!
Thank you Mandy! I do the same thing! Always wishing for something! More money, bigger boobs, less fat, whiter teeth, more time, more laughter. Wish, wish, wish. Always on the run, waiting for something in the future and wishing today away. Today starts a new approach. Living in the moment with my eyes on Christ! Keeping our eyes on Him lets us walk on water!!! But rather, too much pep talk annoys me. And you just answered why. The bible says that we have this treasure Christ in us , in earthen vessels our bodies. I personally believe that you got to have those days that you feel weary.
And I often found that during these times the Lord catches me best. Very well spoken. As a 35 soon to be 36 year old woman, I totally relate to this post. Please give yourself some grace in this area. Thanks for sharing and I hope the readers that can relate to this post encourage you to just keep on your journey being exactly who you are. Be blessed! To friends around those of us going through divorce, be it currently or 5 years ago, I ask for patience.
Endless patience. It takes a lot of time to work through all of the detritus of divorce. And with a kiddo in the mix? Thank you for peeling back some layers and showing the ugly truth. And yes, I agree that we do need to be open and honest about the ugly parts too. I refuse to whine, wallow or any of that about being single. Not everything about it is bad. Not by any stretch. I can barely see through my tears to type this.
I know it never will. No man can be serious enough or even know what they want for the future. Well done on being brave enough to face the turmoil inside, even though you may not feel strong right now. Your fear is so totally understandable. Hopelessness happens. It feels overwhelming. I myself need medication, too, and many days I still fight to be grateful and hopeful The ONLY hopeless situation is one in which you give up.
I just see from your post that you have or are considering giving up on a search for hope at all. Let me say that again: You. But we are ultimately responsible for opening our hands and accepting the good things God has put in place for us. The help we lonely people need does require us to stand up, pick up a phone, and talk to someone. Single at 41…soon to be Struggling with being single. Two failed marriages wrong men , one serious relationship that failed and almost destroyed me I felt he was my true love , and most recently a year casually dating a guy that was not ready but I kept on with him thinking I could make him get there by being totally into him.
I was myself from the start but not a fit for him. I feel like it was outward thing about me and what I do for work , not to mention location of where I live as to why he has distanced himself from me. Have I not picked up on the hints he is dropping? Life not going as I dreamt that it would. They want the benefits of a relationship but not the stress of one and plenty of women to give it to them.
This goes for both men and women. Single life is not rewarding. You said every single thing that a single woman in the 30s could think inside and coild say outside thank you for these totally meaningful words. Thank you for this post! I am 39 and still looking for the one. The one who will not only accept my imperfections but embrace them. I constantly put on my suit of armour and tell people just how great my life is. I have a great job, my own place and an adorable dog.
But inside all I want is someone to come home to at the end of the day….. I giggled when you said some days you think anyone will do. I myself am 39 and have said that many times. Best of luck to you! Dear Mandy Where do we go from here? How do we change our attitudes so that we can be open to Love again. I do believe we have created barriers for ourselves and have become stuck in a rut for fear of heartbreak. I am almost 53 and single for 14 years. This is getting boring but how do we leave our comfort zones?
I think I may be in Love with someone but too afraid to tell him and besides this crush I have had for 11 years could be my way of staying single as a defense mechanism. He has shown no interest although he comes across as shy and flustered when he sees me. Strange how we can let time slip by… almost unnoticed. The ugly truth needs to be exposed so we can heal and allow ourselves to be truly cherished the way we deserve to be loved. Your story is precisely my experience … people compliment me all the time… I am the only person that does not believe I am beautiful — bless your heart Mandy — let go and let God.
Lately the guys that I meet end up being immature, have too many problems or are just overall losers.