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Lesson learned: Always check the vitals before deciding my kid is merely misbehaving. The idea is to feed my self-preservation parking meter a quarter at a time instead of tossing in a handful of change all at once. Julian sticks to coloring contentedly by himself. Ordinarily I would squander this rare quiet moment by fretting about my need to clean the kitchen or pay bills. Instead, I relax with a magazine until Charlotte becomes frustrated by a math problem. The little respite boosts my mood. This breaks the tension, and soon Charlotte finishes up. And I start running the tub.

So I phoned Dr. These are the toughest bribes to reverse, he warned, because the same high-stress situations tend to cause you to break down. The key is to change the pattern.

Raising Happy and Successful Kids

Trying out the tactic Getting Charlotte up — and moving — is a constant struggle. I tell her that if she gets ready early, she can do something fun with the extra time, like crazy dancing to loud music. I expect resistance when the alarm clock buzzes the next morning, but there is none. Charlotte is ready with five minutes to spare. My kids, though, are having serious withdrawal. Semel, M. The way you phrase it can make all the difference. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

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Sign me up! Trying to make sense of it all…and sharing along the way! Share via leaving a comment! I ask Charlotte to start her homework.

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Bribe Buster 4: Eliminate the Triggers. From first kicks to first steps and on to the first day of school, we are here to help you celebrate the joys and navigate the challenges of parenthood. So, open the D. R and enjoy life more! See my very first post for additional information about me, your friendly blogger who's just trying to make sense of it all! Follow me on Twitter! Error: Twitter did not respond.

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Parents casually chatting on the playground or over dinner compare their babies' first milestones: Has Erin started talking? Danielle's already using five-word sentences!

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  4. Inevitably, Erin's mom and dad feel anxious. Later, as report cards, standardized tests, tryouts, playoffs, auditions, admission interviews, and social cliques fill their child's world, parents' anxiety intensifies. The older children get, the more competition they face, whether in sports, academics or the arts.

    Experts: When parents push sports, kids often lose

    Hovering in the background, inciting everyone, is the race for admission to a top-tier college. To help panicky parents deal with the torrential emotions stirred up by our competitive society, and to give them scientific knowledge about their children's growing years, leading child researcher Wendy Grolnick and educational and parenting journalist Kathy Seal offer this illuminating and accessible guide to channeling competitive anxiety into positive parenting.

    While evolution has given parents a genetic predisposition toward this protective anxiety whenever their children face today's heightened competition, the authors guide parents to avoid pushing and pressuring, turning their fear instead into calm guidance. Distilling the results of thirty years of research in child psychology, the authors focus on three essential feelings-autonomy, competence, and connectedness-which parents can foster in their children to maximize the child's chances of success and minimize family conflict.