In fact, research shows that LGBTQ adolescents who are supported by their families grow up to be happier and healthier adults. Sanders and Dr. Fields say the best way to do this is to build trust and start small. Get to know their friends and what they like to do. Ask them how their day went and if they learned anything interesting in school.
Children really do want to be able to talk to parents about what's going on in their lives. When you feel something needs to be discussed, try being less direct. While it may seem less personal, it is an opportunity to broach sensitive topics in a way that's not so scary. What do you think? Empower your parenting with what experts know:. Kids spend almost as much time in the classroom as they do at home. Bullying is a problem for many students, but LGBTQ youth in particular are often targeted for being different. If you see these signs, reach out to a teacher, guidance counselor or school administrator:.
Providing support can be challenging at times. To keep them safe, be involved and stay connected. Many social platforms and apps provide LGBTQ youth an inclusive space to connect with friends and allies, but some especially dating apps include content that is inappropriate for teens.
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Be available so that your child doesn't need to look elsewhere for guidance and support. I have had internship experiences and the sort i had a much happier upbringing living with my mother than i know i would have had had my parents stayed married for the sake of raising me in a nuclear family setting.
Therefore if a same sex couple want to raise child, we are no one to judge them. And the child can easily seek a mother or father figure from a family member. All that matters is that they are raised in a loving environment, not what is considered a social norm. While my father was not in the picture, I looked up to my great uncle and often called him papa when I was only 3 and 4 years old.
He clearly was not my father but I felt a stronger connection to him. No one encouraged or forced it upon me either. Love and nurture is what matters when raising children. If the love does not come from social norms i. Love is love regardless of who provides it. Second, there already are kids being raised by same-sex parents. There are 40, children right now as we speak being raised in California by same-sex couples.
Some maight be from prior marriages, some adopted, and other ways that children end up in any particular home. Who knows… perhaps some loving same-sex couple took in a child after their violent and abusive father finally got put in jail. But, missing from the lives of these 40, children are the legal protections they would have if their parents were allowed to marry.
Denying marriage equality to LGB people is not going to prevent them from living the lives to which they were born or from raising the children that they have. But denying marriage equality will harm the children. The debate should not be about the right of same-sex partners having a child, but rather the interests of the child. With all things equal, do same sex-partners offer the same as a mother and a father? Without a question no, and studies have shown this.
The number of caregivers is directly correlated with lower crime rates, fewer drug offenses, fewer disciplinary issues, higher literacy rates, higher graduation rates, higher salary, higher likelihood of earning a degree, etc. Essentially, you are confusing the benefits of one-mom-one-dad households with the benefits of two-parent households. But that is to say nothing of the gender or sexual orientation of the parents. When the body of scientific research can empirically determine the negative outcomes LGBT parenting as opposed to straight parenting — holding all else constant — you might have a credible point.
But seeing as there is no conclusive evidence to suggest that this is the case, your argument is simply grasping at straws in support of an unfortunate and very troubling worldview. The idea of this nuclear family is actually fairly new and thus fairly artificial. Most families are dysfunctional in some way. A gay family may not be as beneficial as one with a perfect susie homemaker mom and breadwinner dad but may be better than a family with parents that constantly argue, do drugs, or are alcoholics.
There is no perfect formula. I believe everything happens for a reason.. So on that note what about the kids out there with one mother or one father? If anything two of something is better then one or none of something. Said by me -a former foster kid with a single mother. Gay parents can be just as loving and caring towards children as anybody else. The point is what children need, and they do need love and care. Children act differently and learn differently from a mother than they do a father.
What is stopping them? But people refuse to acknowledge that a gay couple is not ideal to raise a child for the very same reasons.
That is not necessarily true. In a situation where both parents need to work gay or straight a family members or person close to the family would have to step in to play a role for a child, too. There are a lot of variable at hand and you are choosing to look at one small area for the sake of arguing. Every kid is different, every family is different, every culture is different. Maybe a couple thinks it could be helpful? I will measure my years as a parent up against any soft science.
Commonsense and millennia of human history make it very clear that children deserve their parents. And every child has a father and a mother. And yes, that is the ideal, nature dictates it. I will not measure your anecdotal evidence from your single experience against the opinions of many experts and contradictory anecdotal evidence.
Yes nature…as in hard science. Not the wax nose of many modern social scientists. We all, naturally, have a father and a mother. It is not a meaningless accident. Tell me is a childless sociologist more of an expert on parenting than say… a mother of 5? Many of you are confusing scientism with actual science. You attack modern social scientists as being universally easily swayed wax nose , then you suggest that said experts must be childless as your comparison against a mother of 5 can only be a childless sociologist. He was creating a hypothetical to see you what your thoughts would be. So let me break this down for you.
Millennia of human history suggest that children were raised mostly by women, and by many, many people, not just the parents. Sisters, aunts, grandmothers, cousins, and other members of the community regularly pitch in to help out. Nature does not dictate that each child is raised only by his or her mother and father. If anything, nature dictates that we use the whole village to raise a child. We all have communities. But you are confusing community with family and pretending housholds did not exist.
Sorry but history is not on your side. You have a Hillary Clinton book. But that is about it. Children spent far more time with both father and mother. They were educated at home for millennia and worked with their father in the family trade if they were male and daughter with their mothers.
The family name was much more important than it is know. Here is another kid for all of us. Youc an rewrite history if you like and obscure the role of parents.
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But you are ill-informed if you do. Look it up. History and science are on my side.
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Also, you really think that the majority children were home? Being educated? Over the last couple of millennia? I guess my mother — or any other person, maybe even government — could have done that. As a matter of fact, in ancient times, that was precisely the role of men: to copulate women, to hunt and bring food, and to protect the territory. All these roles can be replaced nowadays by science, grocery stores and legislation. So, according to your point of view, fathers are no longer necessary at all….
You can tell an argument is flimsy when it sounds like a sarcastic mockery made by the other side. You said it yourself, Dan: one-mom-one-dad is the ideal. Thank you for pointing this out. Bradley, although I appreciate your comment, I feel like you are completely ignoring the fact that some people grow up with single parents… like me :D. I grew up in a single parent home with just my mother. My aunts, my grandmother and my mother gave me insights and then my brothers, uncles, grandfathers gave me others.
Just because a child is raised with 2 mothers or 2 fathers does not mean they live inside of a bubble. Gay parents who want children are often times surrounded by families who are just as caring and attentive as straight families. Children learn from their parents first, yes. But they also learn from siblings, family, teachers, classmates, etc.
As this article is about actual social science and not mere conjecture, I have to ask you to please provide a citation to a peer reviewed journal to support this assertion. Given the nature of the topic, please make sure the citation is to an article published within the last 5 years. And by the way, the Regnerus article is far too much still in dispute to be cited.
It seems to me that this is showing a certain bias. This would be like writing an article promoting a political candidate. I was indeed trying to address children that grow up in single parent homes, albeit briefly and unclearly. All of that which comes from a mother or father is even more special and important though, and with one missing, my point was that children will realize that someone filling that specific role of a mother or father is missing in their life and hopefully be able to find a mother or father figure close to them that fill that role in the best way.
The mother and father roles are not clearly present or absent, so someone may not be able to fill either role for them in their lives. The problem I see with your argument is that you are trying to pigeon hole genders with personality traits. That a child needs both a mother and a father to distinguish what they need. What is it exactly that a child needs in separate genders? Two parents per household would theoretically increase the quantity, I will heed to that, but it still does not mean that a child must be limited to the parent s in the household, as others have mentioned, in terms of influence and rearing.
In any circumstance. You can try and dress up the issue whichever way you like, but I can speak from experience that I learned a great deal from many sources outside my home. The ONLY instance I can see your point of view is in terms of relation to body image in early childhood. This holds true whenever the child does not feel embarrassment or ashamed and can feel confident asking questions that are easily researched and answered properly by the parent s. Bodily experience may be great, but is surely not necessary in terms of two male parents with a female child, or vice-versa.
Nobody who has the ability to think for themselves is going to take you seriously. Whether you realize it or not. Is God or nature wrong in making them male and female? Imagine what the human species will be if the larger world population take to same-sex marriage. Let us be reasonable. If hetero conjugal relationship does not occur, where will the same-sex partners get the child from. Exception should not be made the norm. A child comes from a sperm and an egg a mother and a father and there is NO other way for that child to come into being.
Biologically speaking, a child needs BOTH parents to exist. There are of course plenty of families with single parents, or families where one parent has done more of the rearing than the other myself being an example. Even though I have both parents, my mom has definitely done most of the raising. And I know that when I compare myself to my friends, in which both parents share the tasks more equally, the children are more at peace.
A boy growing up looks at his father to teach him to act like a man. A girl growing up looks at her mother to teach her to be a woman. Behaviors are learned. How many times do you have kids copy their parents? All the time! Parents are the first teachers of children. You were taught how to walk, say thank you, and build a sand castle before you entered kindergarden. Your uncle or family friend for the most part does not live in your house and does not have an intimate relationship with your other parent.
For the most part, they say its really hard. Now on to homosexual parents. I agree with Bradley, that a homosexual couple is fully capable of loving a child. But the role of a parent is not just to love and morally support a child. Finally, we never stop learning because it is a lifelong process. Growing into a woman or a man begins the moment we are born. He or she will never truly be the equivalence of an actual father or mother. Some may say that two homosexual women can teach a girl to be a woman. That is true. So what is the dad for? To teach her how to be treated by men and how to be respected by them.
Not just in love but in friendships, relationships, school, and work. We learn by example, which is why kids mimic their parents growing up. If you take out one-half of the spectrum, you are not offering the child the full breadth of knowledge they deserve. How can you say you have any concern for the child if before they are even born you feel you have the authority to dictate who they are and are not allowed to be, to describe what is allowed and prohibited from their very identity? A person is a PERSON first, their penis or vagina has NO place in determining their personality or how they are treated by those around them, much less restrict who they are allowed to become.
In this way any two human beings can raise another human being, if they are both truly willing to recognize their child as that: not a boy, not a girl, a human being. He meant forcing children into an identity from an early age based on what their genitals might be, which in my opinion, IS child abuse. The writer of this article presents an already formed opinion—a naive and biased one. Gay marriage only became legal for the first time in or in Amsterdam I believe. Barely years has passed since then.
Do we know if gay marriage will work well? Has the writer himself been raised by gay parents? Are you writing from your own experience or even some second hand experience? Have you interviewed children who are being raised by gay parents? Have you followed up their development into adulthood and see how they are living in society?
Writers and artists included should know that they have serious responsibilities in shaping and influencing the cultural fabric of our time. Is this any different than propaganda? That kind of thing tends to backfire. Barry Siegel of the American Academy of Pediatrics bases his endorsement of gay families raising children was created and conducted by noted lesbian Nanette Gantrell who has been in a gay marriage with lesbian activist Dee Mosbacher for 37 years.
Gay Parents/Straight Schools: Building… | Jim Fischerkeller | TinyCat
How can Dr. What kind of professional is he? Would he accept a study on the health of Coca Cola if it were conducted by the officers of that company? Why are you so quick to assume someone trained as a researcher who is also gay is driven by bias, whereas someone heterosexual would somehow not be biased??? Gee Wiz, this is a very good reason why many of us straight guys are having a very hard time meeting a good straight woman now.
God created the family unit as a father, a mother, and the children. I do agree though a child needs love, but the love of a mother is totally different from the love of a father. A child needs a balance of love from a father and a mother. I firmly believe children need a mother and a father, not 2 mothers or 2 fathers. A child doesent need a certain type of love from a mother and a father.
Gay Parents/Straight Schools: Building Communication and Trust
There are many kids I know with two moms or dads or just one of them and they do just fine. They never care about what gender their parents were. All a child needs is love, and a fathers love is no different than from a mothers love, because parents love their children the same. And I firmly believ a child needs two parents that love them regardless of their sexual orientation. Appears that some of you did not pay much attention to the fact that this article cited the opinion of self-reports by the mothers and kids.
I am not sure why they are called mothers but the point should be that the study has not been going on long enough and the final evaluation has to be done by unbiased scientists, not the mothers or kids… I personally find it difficult to believe that in the long run kids are not bettor with a good mother and a good father rather than two of the same!
However, yes there are many bad parents and in those cases it does not matter if they are the same sex or not…. I am looking for a parent from a same sex couple who has a teenager and is interested in sharing their story. Children in LGBT families fare as well as other children. Research shows positive outcomes for children in LGBT families: More than 30 years of research shows that children raised by LGBT parents are just as happy, healthy and well-adjusted as children raised by heterosexual parents.
Every major authority on child health and welfare has determined that sexual orientation has nothing do with the ability to be a good, effective parent. I wish I had gay parents. That would be so cool! In any case, my straight parents get into fights all the time, and I am NOT the happiest person in the universe.
No one can seriously believe a little girl whose mother is a Microsoft VP gets the same messages and experiences about what women can and should be and do compared to a little girl raised by a conservative Muslim or an impoverished teenage mom in rural Mississippi.
MED prof’s finding comes as Supreme Court weighs same-sex marriage
The thousands of interrelated factors affecting family quality are too diverse and personal to be regulated, and parental chromosomes or genitals would be far down on that list anyway. No one does. I have an attraction to women rather than a man. While randomized controlled trials may be the holy grail of science, this is one of those areas where an RCT is ridiculously infeasible anyway. What are we going to do? I want to point out that NONE of the studies that routinely contend that kids with two parents do better than kids with a single parent are based on RCTs either.
We should not let a blind adherence to RCT-or-nothing be an enemy to science, well-designed observational studies are the best we can hope for in most social science fields! Lets stop all the ridiculous labeling. What all children need is love, a stable home with unconditional encouragement and praise. Why must we condemn two individuals of whom are willing to provide these things and more for, in most cases for children who would not have these opportunities.
My wife and I , yes we are a Lesbian couple, have been together for 7 years. We never considered having children of our own, but wanted to share our home and love. We adopted two special needs children who fill hearts with joy. Both attend a private christian school where all students are taught that every family is made special. Some kids only have a mom or a dad at home, some are raised by there older siblings, aunt and uncles, grandparents or foster parents.
As to the post from Mario about a child need an example of the same sex. Our kids have been brought up with Love, strong morals and family support. A person is who they are going to be. I know that we have worked hard to provide our children with the best opportunities. Where if my wife and I had decided to not adopt, our children more than likely, due to their condition would have been bounced from foster home to state home until Then left with no resources on the street, which is common place.
Think of all the homes that could be provided for less fortunate children. Quite frankly none of the studies pro or anti are perfect. Samplings are small and data does not cover enough years. There are anecdotal stories of children of gay parents doing great and other children who have had a different experience. Just like some children raised by single parents do fine even though statistically the odds are against them. So anecdotal stories pro or con are not very helpful either.
As a husband and father I know this. A mother and a father both bring something unique and important to a childs life. Any child raised without both a male and female parent starts life with a deficit. A deficit that can be overcome but they start with one strike against them. A child with a mother and a father in a stable household is always the best situation for a child to be in.
Can this be backed up by social science. Maybe maybe not. But the real question is do we really want to do another social experiment on children. I understand and sympathize with the desire of gay parents to have children. Anything else is, well — baloney. That is beyond bias. As a scientist, this study would be much more respected if it answered objective questions while comparing children of same-sex couples to children who were raised by their biological parents in an in tact family.