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Dreaming Reality by Joe Griffin, Ivan Tyrrell | Waterstones

Dale Carnegie. The Psychopath Test. When he wouldn't listen, a trip to the local nuthouse for a little electro-shock therapy seemed in order. But what if the young Brazilian had succumbed to all that opposition and given up on his dream? What if he'd been a good son and obeyed his parents? Sure, he'd probably have become a successful lawyer and helped a lot of people anyway, but he would have had nowhere near the positive impact that he's been able to achieve through his writing.

Fact is, the world today would be a little less bright had Paulo been a parent pleaser. But here's what I love most about Coelho's story.

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When asked if he'd forgiven his parents for how they treated them, he responded The higher you set your aspirations, the bigger the potential for disappointment. Your parents don't want to see you fall.


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They want you to succeed at everything and never get hurt. Of course, the world doesn't work that way. Shield a kid from pain and she'll never really live. I truly believe that going all out to achieve your dream is reward enough in itself, even if you never quite reach it. Just in that journey you'll feel alive more than you ever have before. We're all a little selfish, and we all resist change. Many parents don't want their kids deviating from the norm because then the parents themselves will have to figure out a new reality, a different and uncomfortable reality where their kid doesn't follow the rules and act predictably.

Then there's the possibility that you going off and living your biggest dream will shine an unflattering light on the unfulfilling life your parents might lead.

WHY DO WE DREAM?

Because when we see someone else doing something that we're too scared or lazy to do, it's easy to feel bad about ourselves, and to resent that someone for "making" us feel that way. Usually this will be subconscious if it's there at all. So expect it, and forgive it. It comes from a place of low self-worth, of regret and despair. It's nothing to do with you. If you're an only child or somehow your parents' life support system, you can't just drop everything and head off into the world to chase your biggest dream, leaving your parents to fend for themselves. I totally get and respect that.

Giving up your own ambitions to care for loved ones is nothing short of heroic.

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You need to be careful here though. I get the impression that many sons and daughters tell themselves that their parents can't live without them, when in fact that's just a convenient excuse to keep them from taking a scary leap. A friend of mine dropped out of school at sixteen. His mother, herself a school teacher, almost killed the chap. She wanted him to follow in the footsteps of her eldest son, who had finished top of his class in high school, aced all four years at a fancy university to secure a prestigious degree, and landed a damn spiffy desk job before his grad hat hit the ground.

Fast forward a decade, and the eldest had abandoned the corporate life.

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The big paycheck didn't compensate for all the uninspiring work and mountains of stress. In fact, he hated his job. He found himself much happier helping out his uncle laying hardwood floors, prestigious degree be damned. And by that time, his younger brother the dropout had become highly-successful running his own garage, showing remarkable business smarts while turning his passion for everything on four wheels into an auto repair shop. Read full description.

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People who bought this also bought. About this product Product Information Shows that dreaming is vital for mental health and that the sleep state we associate with dreaming the REM state also has crucial importance when we are awake. Including real life stories and dream case histories, this book gives readers the key to understanding their own remembered dreams.

Additional Product Features Author s. Joe Griffin is a research psychologist with graduate and post graduate degrees from the LSE.