You must do it now. It benefits you. It benefits your family. And, believe it or not, it often helps bring the spouse back, though you cannot do it for only that reason. When you are sure that your spouse is involved in something, or with someone, that is wrong, arrange a group to do an intervention. There are time-tested and proven ways to do interventions. You cannot be part of the actual intervention, so pick people that he or she respects or cares about. If your children are old enough, add them to the group; they make great interveners.
Share this link with everyone who will help in the intervention. Make an offer of some benefit that will come to your straying spouse if he or she agrees to try at least one thing to save the marriage. People have come to our workshop to salve their consciences, to get their church leaders off their backs, to make the children happy, to get a better deal in the divorce, and more. Any reason is a good reason because for over a decade our success record is three out of four couples, even for those who did not want to be there and for those who came while madly in love with someone else.
Whether you use our services, a counselor full of faith, a minister, or any other help, do something. If you have a desire to save your marriage, act. Sitting alone while having a pity party does nothing good for you or anyone else. You cannot make your spouse do right, but you can make yourself get out of the dumps and back on the road of faith in the God who speaks universes into existence.
He will not abandon you, even if your spouse does. Want more help? We see miracles every month. If you wish to save your marriage, wish to heal, and wish to help your spouse heal, please call us toll free at or complete the form below for more information. We care and we wish to help.
Our success rate over the last decade is three out of four marriages saved, even when adultery, porn, anger, or other things have deeply hurt the relationship! She said that she is in love with another man, I do not accept this since we married each other and our vows were forever till death do us part.
Today she spoke to a divorce lawyer on how to proceed with it. Please help us with your prayers and God bless you all. We will definitely keep you both in our prayers. He can give you more information about our highly effective programs we have to help you save your marriage. I need help, my wife and I are married for 3 years but been together for 7 years. I have sacrificed my career, my savings, retirement to give her a better life in Canada.
I was put in prison because Canadian immigration thought I was smuggling my wife. Basically, my life started over and lost everything. I supported her two children since I have no children of my own. She stays over at his place while I stay with her kids. I keep asking myself, where is God in all of this. I pray and pray and nothing happens. I just want to end my life and not start over.
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I gave it my all, my life and now I have nothing and start over at minimum wage and alone. I love my wife more than myself. My wife name is Vanessa. Gustavo I am sorry for your pain and hurt. This thing we call marriage can be so painful and hurt so much at the end. It was never meant to be this way yet for so many it ends bad. I will say a prayer for you and your wife tonight and my god give you the strength to weather through the storm. My wife has recently left me after 13 years and the hurt, pain and love I have for her is never ending. Please turn to the bible and try and get help and assistance during this time of stress.
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Pray to God and learn to love your cross. Continue praying and trust God because one day a miracle will happen and your wife will go back to you. Please pray for my relationship to last. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and 5 months ago he send a message to another girl to tell her that he loves her.
I have a 1 year old daughter with him and I hope that he will try to make it work. Monika, I am sorry that this has happened. While I understand that you want to make your relationship work because of your child that you have together, you must also really decide if this is the kind of behavior that you should have to deal with for the rest of your life. Since you are not married yet, you do have the option to decide if you want something better for yourself. However, you can still make this relationship work.
There are some more articles on our website that could help you figure this out. Thank you for this reply. I am still dealing with trust issues because of what happened but he stoped taking to that girl. But even though he has not talked to her for one year I am starting to notice that we are very different. He is more outgoing and sometimes imberising. I am more quiet and emotional. I still dint know If I should ever get married to him. Thank you for any prayers that will help me decide.
I understand that this blog channeled towards god and religion. However I felt the need to leave the comment perhaps it may shed some light on some very important topic that most people and pastors may overlook and that topic is mental illness. It may come to a surprise to many people but infidelity falls into category of sexual and emotional abuse. Usually cheaters are low on empathy and quite often fall into category of sufferers Cluster B personality disorders. Such as Borderline, Narcissistic, Sociopaths and Psychopaths.
There are clear differences between behavior of empathetic individual vs Cluster B personality. Here are the signs to potentially identify those people. Lack of empathy and compassion they great at faking it 2. Think of themselves as superior human being and demand special treatment. Controlling and jealous quite often insecure with themselves 5. They are great actors and manipulators great at playing the victim There are more traits and a lot of resources available for you to educate yourself on disorders. Rather than staying with the abuser you may want to consider to think about yourself.
I know religion and god is important for many people but reality is that there is no cure for such mental illness at the moment and relationships with such people not only psychologically destructive but can become a danger to your life. Thank you for this comment. I knew my now ex-husband for 20 years we were married for 7 years. During that time I suffered psychological, emotional and mental abuse. Once I filed for divorce the truth came out that he was cheating on me for 6 years of our marriage.
We have two kids together, apparently the affair started while I was pregnant! Now the courts want me to get along with the woman that was sleeping with my husband. Because they can now officially be boyfriend and girlfriend. He moved her into the house I bought, while the kids and I lived in a shelter. For 8 months. The Kentucky courts system is broken. They allow an abuser to continue to harassed while he has a domestic violence order against him. It still has not sunk in that he has left. He already has her in his house im pregnant and have a 3 yr old i really dont know what to do i really love him and will like to work things out.
We can definitely help your marriage, and we have seen situations like this in the past. There is still hope. Please contact us. My husband and I have been together for 7 yrs married 4yrs in total and seperated for 2 of those 4yrs. Through out the entire relationship I was the more dominant one. I worked and he took care of home. I expressed my frustrations time and time again. His sons mother and his mother were disrespectful toward me on occassions and when I expressed how it made me feel he never addressed it.
I eventually started seeing someone else. Through our entire separation my husband has expressed how he wanted his family back. By this time he has been dating other women as well. This past Nov. I agreed to work on us. Since me giving him the green light nothing has happened. We have meaningless convo. Please help! Fran, it is not unusual for a spouse to show intense desire to reconcile a marriage and then once the wandering spouse agrees, they no longer show the same level of interest.
In fact, it is common for the spouse wanting to work on the marriage your husband in this case to become angry or even apathetic after the straying spouse concedes to fixing it. When the spouse is straying, there is a level of fear that propels wanting to get him or her back.
Once there is a sense of some kind of security, they let the anger show and get the best of them. This does not mean that you should go back to not wanting to pursue the marriage. There is help and hope for your situation. There really is. It may take some work. It does seem that there is something that keeps pulling one of you back to the relationship…some rope that gives you a reason to try and work it out. I strongly suggest that you look into our workshop for marriages in crisis. It would turn your marriage around.
My husband and I have been together for five years and married for four. We have three children together, 3,2, and a five week old newborn. My husband is in the army and has been deployed for almost nine months now. I never thought my husband would ever cheat on me. If we somehow work through this episode, how can I ever trust him again? Prayers would be much appreciated!! It is possible to save your marriage from an affair, and it is possible to have an even stronger marriage than before after it.
Your husband being in the army means that he has many, many negative consequences that he could face from being involved in an affair, as affairs actually require legal action in the military. If you choose to work on your marriage and do what you can to save it, then you are in a good position to do so. If you want to know more about marriage help, please contact us. After I confronted him, he admitted and said that he was madly in love with her and that their relationship was already beyond sexual.
He confessed that they had 18 month together the other woman is also married. I got angry and get hurt. However I told him I took responsibility for whatever I did wrong that made him go after another woman.
I expressed my willing to work on this marriage and make it work despite the infidelity. I asked him to go to counseling with me. Yet he said no. I asked them both to stop communicating for a while, they both promise they would, but to no avail. He said that he is happy in a way he never was with me and that he regrets marrying me. I can no longer deal with the pain.
I can no longer endure how he goes and meets with her. So I decided to move to another state to heal my heart. I wonder is this the right decision? I love him and want nothing more than my marriage to be healed and have the loving relationship we once had. If leaving at least for now is the right decision. Your prayers are most needed and appreciated. It is a hard decision that you have made, but as long as you have expressed to your spouse that you wish to save the marriage and he refuses to no avail, then the time comes that he must deal with consequences of his actions.
We have some podcasts related to this topic as well. I suggest that you check those out. My husband and I have been married for He had his first affair that I know of for sure after our second child—a boy—when we were married 8 years. We went through marriage and individual counseling for 3 years and stayed together. We thought we were stronger than even and he promised that he would never hurt me like that again. He would go she her at her office and not come by to see me.
When he admitted it, he told me there had been a few others, but that she is the one who is worth it. He left me on June 19, and moved into her house. I ended having to be the one who filed. I got an attorney because he just wanted to go, leaving me with the mortgage and all the bills—taking all his retirement and K. He took this woman to meet his family after Christmas. Everyday is torture for me—being married to someone who is treating another woman like his wife, and he her husband. I pray for him, and grudgingly try to pray for her also. We even talked about him together … all the while she was sleeping with him.
I feel betrayed by the both of them. If I take him back again will he continue to cheat on me? Is it worth it to be his doormat—his backup plan? Kasumi, Clearly what your husband is doing is not right. You should not be the doormat, or the backup plan, and our Marriage Recovery video series talks more about that. However, as bad as everything seems, yes your marriage is salvageable.
However, saving it will mean putting your marriage on a different path to keep another affair from happening in the future. We can help you with that. I could never do that to another human being. My husband has been with a home wrecking woman, if you can call her that, for nearly 7 years. She is an awful human being who stops at nothing to flaunt her affair with my husband. I understand that he is no longer in love with me, however, I cannot accept that he is with this horrible human being.
He is my heart and I would pick him every single time. Our son is a reminder of happier times. Tina, I am sorry for your pain. There is a lot of hurt that occurs when your husband has an affair. Let us know if we can help. Then I found that she like her Boss by checking her phn then I ask her She said we are friend after another day I spoke with her she said he is the person who understand her most its feels like they are made for each other , I do not accept this since we married each other and our vows were forever till death do us part.
I really need prayers for my marriage to not end, Please help us with your prayers and God bless you all. I will definitely keep you in my prayers. I pray that your wife will see what is happening and choose differently. I also pray that God would give you the strength, courage, and knowledge to do whatever you can do to save your marriage even though right now it may seem hopeless.
I knew my estranged spouse for 15 years prior to us getting married in There were many things he put me through shortly after we got married when things began to come to light in In , he walked out on me and the marriage. Up to date, I learned through facebook that he went right into a relationship shortly after leaving me and is now engaged. What should I do? Are you still married, or are you divorced? I strongly recommend tuning in to our live, call-in radio program that is on MarriageRadio. Joe Beam, the marriage expert, would be able to ask you the questions that you need to help you think through how to proceed.
My husband and i have been married for almost twelve years and have seemed to hit our lowest point. From the beginning it is clear to me now that we never set boundary lines. Seems like every year we keep coming back to the point of him and other women. I can admit my faults in snooping through his phone, online,his bag, and even recorded his phone conversation while me and our child was gone.
At one point i was over it and resorted to someone else as well. After we lost our child in he wanted to separate because i had been through his phone tge same day i lost the baby. I evolved with this man but never pushed my husband away instead i reached for him even more but he continued to push away.
I ended the relationship with that man after realizing that the connection i was looking for could only come from God. Time went along and we continued to go through this cycle of other women. His words are just words to me. With this last instance ki asked him did he love this woman our was he in love with this woman and he said that he loved her as a person. He also said that he cut off communication with her. I honestly want to trust and forgive him but i also have a hard time forgiving myself.
Please pray for our marriage and our family. My husband and I just celebrated 22 years of marriage, and 27 years together, I am 46 and he is A few months ago his best friend died, and my husband has been going thru a difficult time, he has even said he is going thru his midlife crisis. He has always gamble in casinos once in a while, but all of the sudden he has been going to this one casino a lot, sometimes times in a week for the past couple of weeks or so.
He also told one of his friends that he is smitten with this girl. Been married to my wife over 30 yrs. Two kids, etc… I recently caught her texting a local man on Easter sunday of all days. I was working. Maybe GOD was sick of me working sundays anyway, i lost it. I went nutz for 3 weeks. This is horrible. Im not sure I can get passed this, its eating me up. She is my one and only since I can remember. My husband and I have only been married 18 months. He just told me he is in love with my 25 yr old daughter and wants to leave me.
My husband and I have been married 8 years, he has a history of depression, and addiction to pills. During our marriage, my husband battled alcohol, depression, and pills. It was a roller coaster, the first couple years everything was good. The last years, he was laid off from work frequently, drink alcohol, and be very lazy. We fell behind on our mortgage, I always handled the bills, but could not afford paying for everything myself.
Even when he received unemployment benefits he would not contribute. I always tried to get him help,or at least encourage he seek treatment for his depression. He was in rehab January , and when he came out, all he did was lay around on the couch, this built up some much resentment and angry, that I started talking mean to him, belittling him.
In December , we received foreclosure notice for our home, I had tried to save our home on 2 occasions where we were able to modify our mortgage, but of course defaulted because he was again laid off. I told him over the years that if we foreclosed that I would leave him. So, in January I left the home and got an apartment. He went into rehab then. I always loved my husband despite the turmoil, but just had enough of his irresponbility. I unfortunately reconnected with an x-boyfriend who was also separated from his wife, that relationship was brief and did not work out.
My husband did get sober, and did not find out about my relationship until after it was over. He was willing to forgive me, but I was still not completely ready, just wanted more time for him to prove himself to me. I decided just to do me and not date. Well beginning of June, and we had been in contact this whole time, I found out he was seeing someone since April. Of course I flipped out because I thought he would always want me and love me. Now he is seeing her and me at the same time, but I have become the side piece.
She has threatened to not see him anymore unless he files for divorce with me this week. I am sure he is lying to her, but he is telling me that he is not filling at least not now, he loves me but is scared I will hurt him by cheating on him, which I never did until after our separation. He is coming over to talk to me tommorrow, because I told him he needs to either divorce me or move on with her.
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Last week, the other woman found out he had been seeing me, and after fighting with the both of us, he finally did tell me he loved her. However, now this week he is saying he is not in love with her like that, but is scared I will hurt him after a couple of months. Please pray for us!! And let me know if there are any services you offer in NJ, if our talk goes well tomorrow. He has been very nice to me this week, even showing more respect and caring. He is also finally sober. This month I discovered that wife is in love with another man, and when I confronted her she told me that she cannot love me again.
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They work together and this is the second time they have fallen for each other with 4 months. The first time it was discovered they ended it, citing their respective marriages and children. This time they both want a divorce. I am trying to slow the process down to buy some time as I still love my wife and want to keep our family and marriage in tact. I would appreciate any thoughts, advice or prayers. Hello im in a crisis my wife and i have been together for almost 12 yrs married for five this month.
We have seperated five weeks ago when i found out she was kissing another man at work. I did get upset and say some things not meaning to. I know this didnt just happen over nite her wanting to seperate. We hqve had ups and down as most couples have but this time i have finally come to the realization of what she has needed fron me and askin for. I have been distqnt and depressed and blocked out my hole famuly at time especially her and her needs. Ive been controlling and not kept any stability in our lives. Among other things i havent seen because ive been so distant and blind to what is going on.
I desperatly want my wife back home but she has started seeing this other guy and pushed me out emotionally and physically. Refuses to discuss reconciling at this point and says she is in a different place than i am on it all. She says she dont know if she wants a divorce but knows she has to have space and time away from me but remain freinds. Ive since been as calm as can be and better understanding on how she and i have gotten to this point in our marriage.
She says she loves me and i know that and i love her. But it takes more than love she says and i know that. Im working hard to improve my ways of thinking and reacting to things. She told me to go out on dates and get out that i need to find out for sure our family is what i want. I already know it is and dont beleive dating othr women is right.
I love my wife and want her to be able to give me her heart back. I am so sorry for what has happened. Right now, the best thing you can do is start working on those things that would make her want to come back. Be the man that she needed before…that will help bring her back to you. Married 24 years and my spouse strayed and left me for good. I am so hurt. I am very disappointed with myself for allowing this to happen to me!
I am so hurt that he once again took advantage of me knowing how much I loved him!!!!! Telling me that I have no proof of his infidelity. But the truth is I know that its true because one friend of ours confirmed it. I also saw the missed calls of the other woman in his phone. He told me that its over, that he dont want me anymore and still insisting that he has no other woman. By the way, before this arguments happened I sent a message to the other woman on facebook and beg her to stop whatever is happening to them, and that woman also keeps on denying that they have a relationship and she doesnt even know my husband.
But I have the proof which I keep to myself because Im afraid that when I give the proof to my husband he will leave us and he will choose the other woman over us. Please help me.
My wife left me for my dad this past Friday. Please pray for us. I have begged my wife to come back for the past 3 days and today and she says that she does not ever see us getting back together. Please pray. She is a good person who has done a bad thing. I want her back badly. My wife and I have been married for almost 14 years, recently I discovered she had been having an affair with a coworker for almost 4 months. I ask anyone that reads this to please keep us in your prayers. And truly is the love of my life.
I miss her dearly…. I have been married to my wife for 16 years now. About 5 years ago, under my wifes pressure to get friends, I found a female friend that I became friends with and my hopes were that she could help me open up to my wife. My wife over time had started to pull away from me out of fear I would have an affair and she asked me to stop talking to this woman. I kept telling my wife that she was silly because I thought I could resist any temptation.
Two years ago I started to have feelings for this other woman and started talking to her A LOT over a 3 month period. I becane infatuated with all of the attention I was receiving as my wife continued to pull away. It came to the point after those 3 months that this other woman had told me she loved me and I responded with the same.
My wife confronted me about our many thousands of text messages each month a few days after this happened and I denied any involvement with her. I remained friends with her for 3 months after and refused any attempts at counseling with my wife. I had an emotional affair with this other woman and after thise 3 months I finally pulled my head out of my bottom because my wife asked for a divorce and broke everything off with the other woman. Things started getting better between my wife and I but I still lied about my involvement with the other woman. Fast forward 18 months and God had really been working in my heart to admit everything to my wife and I finally did last October.
I continue to give her more and more space to the point where I only talk to her once a day. Well, Mark, you were right in holding off separation as long as possible. You need extreme intervention right now. I know it may sound impossible, but I would really encourage you to look into our 3 day workshop for marriages in crisis.
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I am struggling with a huge decision. I have been with my husband 11 years and married for 7 years. In things started to go down hill. He was not communicating with me and never really has or showed emotion. I feel he neglects me and does not care about me. I feel alone even when he is there. Feels like no love and no spark and we would barely ever have sex maybe times a month.
I am 31 and he is He tells me to find another man. And it is ok. I can leave and come back and do what I want. This hurts I feel he does not love me. He left in to work and I barely talked to him. I started talking to men but nothing serious. I forgot about it and moved on and dated.
It was not working with the other men. So I decided to concentrate on myself. Then when I least suspect it a man comes into my life. My husband lived and worked in another city but came home this year march when he was laid off. He knows I am dating this man. So this man only together 2 months. But he is everything I want and need and desire. The passionate side and emotional, intellect side, everything is there. Return to Book Page. The book draws on the Bible to underscore these 3 elements—not in a heavy-handed, overly theological way, but very gently, so that the book will appeal to both devoutly religious people and those who are simply spiritual.
Get A Copy. More Details Friend Reviews. To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. To ask other readers questions about Shatterproof Your Marriage , please sign up. Be the first to ask a question about Shatterproof Your Marriage. Lists with This Book. This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Community Reviews.
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Reasons not to Marry Marriage is a big decision, be sure you're doing it for the right Why Marry Catholic? A Catholic marriage is more than a contract, it is a sacrament. Ecumenical and Interfaith Marriages Marrying someone of another faith? A few things to consider. Married Life Newlyweds. Enriching Your Marriage. Overcoming Adversity. The Later Years. Encouragement and Enrichment Good marriages can always be made better! Marital Sexuality The two purposes of marital sexuality: unitive and procreative.
The Vocation of Marriage Marriage is a call to holiness. Welcoming Children. Family Dynamics. A Bittersweet Bucket List One couple's loving response to a difficult situation. The Sandwich Generation Taking care of your children and aging parents can be difficult. Meaning and Purpose Marriage is free, total, faithful, and fruitful.